(no subject)
Jan. 27th, 2005 05:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
doyleFrom the rant meme:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stumbelina wanted me to rant aboutITV and the badness of Saturday Night TV:
My first instinct, of course, was "But what about Ant and Dec's magnificent Saturday Night Takeaway?!" Then I remembered that it's only on a couple of months of the year, and I was filled with rage.
I don't even know what's on ITV on a Saturday night, besides Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That in itself should tell the TV bosses something: look, I spend weekends at my parents' house. They've got a twenty-two year old geek stuck in a tiny village with absolutely nothing else to do on a Saturday night, and I *still* have no clue what's on ITV because I glance over the listings, go "boring, boring boring" and go to look at porn on the internet instead.
Wait a second, I'll go and get a TV guide...
Ah, yes. You've Been Framed. I remember this show from when I was a kid and, you know? Still much the same clips. Someone falls off a bike/swing/chair (it will get an even bigger laugh if the person is very old, very young, or the fall looks sufficient to cause actual harm). A dog/cat/squirrel chases its own tail/opens a door/bats at a mirror. Someone opens a door too fast and hits someone in the face/causes someone to drop a cake. That's basically it, repeated for half an hour. And people get paid £250 per clip, which is why so many of them are obviously staged - there's a whole cottage industry somewhere in Milton Keynes of a man with a camcorder pushing kids off swings, throwing birthday cakes at people and training a posse of photogenic animals to do medicore tricks. He makes a good living from it too, I'll bet, and this makes me sad.
circe_tigana wanted LJ and Timezones:
Listen, American-type people, what's up with it being midnight here when it's only evening or afternoon there? I'm asleep during the most active time, and forget being able to participate in chats.
I know everybody's prepared to be sensible about this, so I propose we move away from this current unworkable system to a more Doyle-centric one. Okay, if you could just gather together all your clocks and watches and set them to GMT. Or is it British Summer Time? No, can't be it's still winter... It might take a little bit of adjusting, since some of you will be walking home in the sunshine at twelve midnight, but since you're all going to be in suspended animation any time I'm not online, that shouldn't be a problem.
I may have inadvertently revealed phase two of my plan.
glossing wanted male prostitution in fic, fractals or wolfdick.
Male prostitution in fic falls down on accuracy. Seriously. Blackadder taught me all I need to know about rent-boying: to quote Mr. S Baldrick, you go down the docks, "Just stick a pink carnation in your hat and, er, make the old sign." (The sign in question is one that says "get it here", natch) I'm aware that fic in modern context may not make full use of these historical details, so I can forgive overlooking the carnation, but the sign? What about the sign?
And don't get me started on wolfdick. Oz gets a hell of a lot of action in wolf form (I'd hazard a guess that Remus Lupin does, too). Where is the love for the Nina-wolf? Why is she not allowed badly-written porn?
(Fractals are too beautiful for me to rant about. I tried *cries*)
Two other requests, on shipper insularity and overlooked minor characters, to be in a separate post once I've sorted out thoughts on them, since they seem to be dovetailing into an actual rant on character bashing.
Anybody else want to request one? Or a rave, since I'm as happy to bang on about something I love, too?
stumbelina wanted me to rant aboutITV and the badness of Saturday Night TV:My first instinct, of course, was "But what about Ant and Dec's magnificent Saturday Night Takeaway?!" Then I remembered that it's only on a couple of months of the year, and I was filled with rage.
I don't even know what's on ITV on a Saturday night, besides Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That in itself should tell the TV bosses something: look, I spend weekends at my parents' house. They've got a twenty-two year old geek stuck in a tiny village with absolutely nothing else to do on a Saturday night, and I *still* have no clue what's on ITV because I glance over the listings, go "boring, boring boring" and go to look at porn on the internet instead.
Wait a second, I'll go and get a TV guide...
Ah, yes. You've Been Framed. I remember this show from when I was a kid and, you know? Still much the same clips. Someone falls off a bike/swing/chair (it will get an even bigger laugh if the person is very old, very young, or the fall looks sufficient to cause actual harm). A dog/cat/squirrel chases its own tail/opens a door/bats at a mirror. Someone opens a door too fast and hits someone in the face/causes someone to drop a cake. That's basically it, repeated for half an hour. And people get paid £250 per clip, which is why so many of them are obviously staged - there's a whole cottage industry somewhere in Milton Keynes of a man with a camcorder pushing kids off swings, throwing birthday cakes at people and training a posse of photogenic animals to do medicore tricks. He makes a good living from it too, I'll bet, and this makes me sad.
circe_tigana wanted LJ and Timezones:Listen, American-type people, what's up with it being midnight here when it's only evening or afternoon there? I'm asleep during the most active time, and forget being able to participate in chats.
I know everybody's prepared to be sensible about this, so I propose we move away from this current unworkable system to a more Doyle-centric one. Okay, if you could just gather together all your clocks and watches and set them to GMT. Or is it British Summer Time? No, can't be it's still winter... It might take a little bit of adjusting, since some of you will be walking home in the sunshine at twelve midnight, but since you're all going to be in suspended animation any time I'm not online, that shouldn't be a problem.
I may have inadvertently revealed phase two of my plan.
glossing wanted male prostitution in fic, fractals or wolfdick.Male prostitution in fic falls down on accuracy. Seriously. Blackadder taught me all I need to know about rent-boying: to quote Mr. S Baldrick, you go down the docks, "Just stick a pink carnation in your hat and, er, make the old sign." (The sign in question is one that says "get it here", natch) I'm aware that fic in modern context may not make full use of these historical details, so I can forgive overlooking the carnation, but the sign? What about the sign?
And don't get me started on wolfdick. Oz gets a hell of a lot of action in wolf form (I'd hazard a guess that Remus Lupin does, too). Where is the love for the Nina-wolf? Why is she not allowed badly-written porn?
(Fractals are too beautiful for me to rant about. I tried *cries*)
Two other requests, on shipper insularity and overlooked minor characters, to be in a separate post once I've sorted out thoughts on them, since they seem to be dovetailing into an actual rant on character bashing.
Anybody else want to request one? Or a rave, since I'm as happy to bang on about something I love, too?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2005-01-27 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-27 06:13 pm (UTC)Heeeeeee!!
no subject
on 2005-01-27 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-27 06:33 pm (UTC)IMMEDIATELY!
no subject
on 2005-01-27 06:49 pm (UTC)(Fractals are too beautiful for me to rant about. I tried *cries*)
You may have noticed this (http://www.livejournal.com/users/captainlucy/153324.html) post I made a few weeks ago. :)
I have a rant request.
Could you please rant about the continual shrinkage of Mars Bars, which appear to be approximately1/1,000,000th the size they were when I were 12.
Failing that, could you please rant about people who rant about totally un-rantworthy things? :P
no subject
on 2005-01-27 07:51 pm (UTC)Just so you know.
no subject
on 2005-01-27 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-27 11:52 pm (UTC)Mmm, moist...
no subject
on 2005-01-27 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-27 09:59 pm (UTC)Remus gets to switch, even. Sometimes he's a wolf, sometimes Sirius is a dog, sometimes they're both in animal forms. All of the above make me want to bleach my brain to get rid of the visuals.
no subject
on 2005-01-27 11:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-28 12:49 am (UTC)Perhaps you could a) rave about Riley, since he doesn't get enough love (even less than Dawn!) or b) rant about those who feel the need to take characters they don't like (like, say, Riley. Or Dawn.) and turn them into horrible, evil monsters just for the fun of it. (Why, yes, I did just finish trying to read a Spuffy story where Riley drugged and raped and abused Buffy, who was rescued by Spike. Still trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth.)
no subject
on 2005-01-28 12:51 am (UTC)Good rant topic.
Rant about GMT./BST
on 2005-01-28 11:22 am (UTC)Speaking of GMT/BST, does the yearly cry at Autumn when the clocks change of 'why can't it stay the way it is?' annoy other people as much as me. I would love to educate these idiots (perferably by using a baseball bat) that GMT is the "normal" timezone for the British Isles and that if the clocks never changed, they would always set on GMT, NOT BST!