(no subject)

[doyle]

One: Bernard Black (Black Books)
Two: The Brig (Doctor Who)
Three: Lionel Luthor (Smallville)
Four: Joyce Summers (Buffy)
Five: Eminem (real person)
Six: Brian Steadman (Teachers)
Seven: Cordelia Chase (Buffy)
Eight: The Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who)
Nine: Batman
Ten: Zoe (Firefly)
Eleven: Bender (Futurama)
Twelve: Martha Kent (Smallville)


Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Brian/Bender) fic? Do you want to?
I don't believe there are any Teachers/Futurama crossovers in existence, though I imagine Brian and Kurt would get on great with Fry. But yes, I'd read it if such an unlikely thing existed.

Do you think Four (Joyce) is hot? How hot?
Joyce is hot as can be and needs her own spinoff with the messiah-president lady from Battlestar Galactica. They fight crime and look like sexasses.

What would happen if Twelve (Martha Kent) got Eight (The Ninth Doctor) pregnant?
Martha would be happy, because she likes bebbies and can't have them. Nine would be a bit put out at the whole pregnancy thing, but at least he's not the last of his race any more, so it's all good. Meanwhile, Clark would be very confused as to why his mom's sleeping with an alien whose planet went boom, because it all seems a bit oedipal, except Clark doesn't know the word oedipal so Lex has to explain it and then comfort him. With his penis.

Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Batman)?
I don't think I've ever read Batman fic, but I can go look for some choice summaries on ff.net... no, my computer doesn't like that site. Damn.

Would Two (The Brig) and Six (Brian) make a good couple?
Good God, no. The Brig's far too military and disciplined to put up with Brian's slovenly ways.

Five/Nine (Eminem/Batman) or Five/Ten (Eminem/Zoe)?
The second one, because that's Eminem in spaaaaace, and it could have happened while he was the Fifth Doctor's companion (that might need some explaining... the Big Finish audio plays have an original companion called Erimem. She's a pharaoh. Unfortunately, connorbeast and I both have a mental block that makes us see her name as 'Eminem' and we've decided he'd be a *much* better companion. When my dad mentioned last week that Eminem had pulled out of the concert at Slane my immediate thought was 'he's off with Five and Nyssa omg!' And then I remembered that pesky reality thing.)

What would happen if Seven (Cordelia) walked in on Two (The Brig) and Twelve (Martha Kent) having sex?
She'd complain loudly at the old (ie, over 40) people having sex, then go away.

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Lionel Luthor/Zoe) fic.
All I can think of, lame as it is, is Eight hundred years in the future, Lionel finds that some things can't be bought. My brain broke on the thought of Lionel/Zoe sex. That'd be hot.

Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Bernard Black/The Ninth Doctor) fluff?
No, but there's an episode where Bernard wakes up with a stick of celery on his lapel, which is absolute proof he had a drunken shag with Five.

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Cordelia/Martha) hurt/comfort fic.
Hey, It's Raining Fire Again (Wait, That's a Meteor Shower: Oh Well, Just Be Grateful I'm Not Screwing Your Son)

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Joyce Summers) to deflower One (Bernard Black)?
It's fifteen years ago; Joyce and Hank are on vacation in Ireland, where she bumps into the sarcastic-but-not-yet-crushed-by-the-world Bernard, who's a student at Trinity. They have a torrid affair but she breaks his heart into a million pieces when she refuses to leave her husband and daughter, turning Bernard into a hideous wreck of a human being.

Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Cordelia) slash?
*defers to katemonkey and sallyanne*

Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Lionel) het?
I know a couple of people share my Chloe/Lionel love.

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Bender)?
I don't think so. Any of youse holding out on me?

Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (The Brig/Joyce/Eminem)?
If I laced their water supply with crack, they might?

What might Ten (Zoe) scream at a moment of great passion?
Something in Mandarin, to get it past the censors. If Wash is being annoying, possibly 'Mal'.

If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (the Ninth Doctor), which song would you choose?
Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. It's my Nine/TARDIS OTP song. Or The Beatles, In My Life ("these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living, and in my life I've loved them all"; again, Doctor/TARDIS, as well as angsty Doctor/all the companions, and if I had source for all the Doctors I'd vid this.)

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve (Bernard/Brian/Martha Kent) fic, what would the warnings be?
Warnings for slash, het, improbability, supreme sarcasm and both Irish and Northern accents.

What might be a good pick-up line for Two (the Brig) to use on Ten (Zoe)?
"You remind me of my replacement." *needs Bambera/Zoe fic*

When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Eminem)?
I've definitely read Eminem RPF at some point... I think he might have been paired with Faith. She was stealing his car.

What is Six's (Brian's) super-sekrit kink?
Something very disturbing but somewhat sweet, I'm sure.

Would Eleven (Bender) shag Nine (Batman)?
No, people might think they were robosexuals.

If Three (Lionel Luthor) and Seven (Cordelia Chase) get together, who tops?
It's a pitched battle of sexiness.

"One (Bernard Black) and Nine (Batman) are in a happy relationship until Nine (Batman) suddenly runs off with Four (Joyce Summers). One (Bernard), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Bender) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (Martha Kent), then follows the wise advice of Five (Eminem) and finds true love with Three (Lionel Luthor)." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

I would call it The Greatest Fic in the World (Tribute). Everyone would read it, or I would cry.

How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Cordelia Chase/the Ninth Doctor) was canon?
I'll be in my bunk.

Also, GIP.

Comments

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Martha would be happy, because she likes bebbies and can't have them. Nine would be a bit put out at the whole pregnancy thing, but at least he's not the last of his race any more, so it's all good. Meanwhile, Clark would be very confused as to why his mom's sleeping with an alien whose planet went boom, because it all seems a bit oedipal, except Clark doesn't know the word oedipal so Lex has to explain it and then comfort him. With his penis.

That might possibly be the most brilliant thing I've ever read. Hee!