doyle | (no subject)

The funeral was good. Nice seems a strange word to use, but the minister said really good things about Nana and he actually knew her, and there were a lot of people there. Remember I mentioned extended families? Uh-huh. Besides my parents and aunts and uncles and first cousins and their partners and kids, there were ex-spouses (you marry into our family, you *stay* married into it - I think my uncle Dessie separated from my aunt before I was born) and relations of inlaws (Nana was my dad's mother, but my aunts and uncles on my mum's side were all there too. Same for the rest of my cousins.)

The wake was your typical affair - essentially a big, noisy family get-together with lots and lots of food. You could seriously write sociological treatises on how the men sat at the table while the women stood in the kitchen or sat in the living room, and how age and status determined whether you got a mug or a cup for your tea.

All seven of my first cousins came, even though 3 of them live in England and Phillip is pathologically terrified of flying. He couldn't make himself get on the hour-long flight, so had to make the trek down to Wales and get the boat to Dublin, then up here. It's the first time ever that the parental units have got the eight of us in one photograph. All of us being in the same room was great, like being tiny again (Phillip is the oldest at 34, I'm the youngest - Sarah, in the middle age-wise, wailed that I can't be 21, I'm supposed to be the baby and we're all so *old*). It took about six seconds for us to fall back into this pattern of teasing and bickering and bantering with each other.

Inevitably, photo albums were produced. My brother and I now have enough embarrassing pictures of our parents to give us years' of blackmail material. We were mocking the bridesmaids' dresses at my aunt's wedding when Sarah reminded me that we used to play dress-up in those when we were little, and that segued into all of us telling these funny stories about our grandparents, mostly incidents from our childhoods. I think it was how Nana would want us to remember her, and it let me hear about Papa (who died about a week before I was born - he died two days before his 65th birthday, and Nana died 2 days before her 85th). I wish I'd gotten to know him. I'm glad I got to know her.

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I am so very glad that the funeral was a good experience for you - that is what they should be, I think. A chance to share those memories and stories with other people that loved her. And no matter how sad it is, it is a good thing that you did have so much time with her.

*hugs*

It sounds like the best that a funeral/wake can be. I remember a similar one for my father-in-law that made so many people feel better, and I really think that's the point. You got to reconnect, and it was good, and remember things that were funny or touching. A nice way to say goodbye. Hugs.

I'm glad it went well for you all.
::Hugs::

So nice, and poignant, that you were able to share your memories and reconnect with other family members. Glad that the minister was able to speak through his familiarity with your Nana.

::hugs::

That sounds like about the best a funeral could be. I'm glad you got to see your family, even if the situation was a sad one.