doyle: tardis (dumpsville by buffyx)
[personal profile] doyle
I finally got my Intoxication challenge done. Phew.

Warning: this is so fluffy it looks like I've killed some kitties and turned them into femslash.

Title: Office Talk
Author: Doyle
Pairing: Fred/Harmony
Rating: PG
Distribution: Anywhere, just let me know.
Summary: Fred and Harmony have a girlie night, with a movie and gossip and... stuff.
Notes: For the Intoxication challenge. Had to include someone being intoxicated, the words 'blood' and 'wine' and the quote "a lie can be halfway around the world before the truth has got its boots on".



She felt like she was finally making progress with the other secretaries. Sure, they kept going quiet when she walked in, but maybe they were, like, totally struck dumb by the awesomeness of her new hair. At least they were being nice and including her, even if they sometimes laughed at stuff she didn't get. She laughed along anyway.

Fred said the stenopool was full of man-eating sharks. Harmony didn't get that, either, but that was okay, because Fred was super-smart and really funny after a few drinks, and it was just so nice to have a gal-pal again.

She'd been hanging out with Fred a lot lately. Well - not a lot a lot. They had their Thursday nights when they'd go to the bar, and sometimes clubbing it on Fridays. And Saturdays. Oh, and breakfast at 3 or 4am on Sunday morning in the all-night pancake place, but that was an extension of Saturday night, so it didn't count.

Monday, au naturelle (or was it au contraire? She'd always sucked at French) was movie night, which was why she was standing outside Fred's apartment with a bottle of wine and a jumbo box of microwave popcorn. Fred looked happy to see her, and that gave her warm pink fuzzies inside. Even if it was just probably all about the hair, because it really was great hair.

They'd been having these nights for two or three months now, long enough to have the routine down. Harmony got her blood from the fridge and the cinnamon from the little jar Fred kept on the counter and heated the concoction in the microwave, while Fred fired up the DVD player. Harmony brought her steaming mug to the couch, snagging a couple of wine glasses on the way.

"Do I have the best gossip for... oh, yay!" she squealed, kicking off her shoes and getting cozy. "This is my most favourite movie of all time."

Fred rolled her eyes, but in the smiley way that meant she was only teasing. "Well, yeah. We've only watched it four times."

An hour and a half later, when Reese Witherspoon had graduated from Harvard, the wine bottle was empty and Harmony was an emotional wreck, sobbing too hard to even be grateful she'd worn waterproof mascara. She grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the coffee table - Fred was so smart, she thought of everything - and dabbed at her eyes. "That's just such a beautiful movie," she wailed.

Fred held the bottle upside down, staring at it critically. "But why is the wine gone?"

"She's my idol," Harmony went on, oblivious. "She faces all these challenges in her life and she just rises above them all."

"Like a balloon," Fred said. "Or an airship. Which is kind of a great big balloon."

Ha. The angle Fred's head was at made it look like she was staring at Harmony's chest when she said that. Which was such a silly thought that it made Harmony giggle, forgetting her emotional movie trauma.

"Y'know, we drink so much, you'd think I could drink more than," Fred frowned, slowly separating out her fingers, "two glasses before I get all drunkeny."

"Ohmygod," Harmony said, suddenly remembering her gossip from the office. Okay, they had a ban on work-talk, but that didn't apply to really juicy news flashes from the grapevine. "Guess what I heard?" She paused for dramatic effect. She'd never be as great an actress as Cordelia was, but as least she could deliver news in a dynamic and exciting way.

"What?" Fred prompted. Maybe too long of a pause.

"One of the secretaries is screwing around with someone in management!" She frowned. "I'm not sure who, 'cuz everybody stopped talking when they realized I was there. But I bet a million dollars it's Crystal, she's totally Ms. Get-to-the-top-on-my-knees."

Fred looked strange, like she was turning sober all at once. "So who do they, uh, who do they think the management person is?"

"Not Angel," she said decisively, "because, hello? Way too mopey to be getting some. Not you or Lorney-tunes, because you'd tell me, right?"

"Sure," she agreed.

"Awww!" Harmony pulled her into a sloppy hug. "You're the best friend ever. And it can't be Wesley," she finished. "Because, y'know - tragically in love with somebody he can't have."

"I feel so bad about that," Fred said, eyes sad.

She was such a sympathetic person. It wasn't like it was her fault Angel didn't love Wesley back.

"So that leaves Mr. Gunn," she finished. "Which is lame, because if they ever got married she'd be Crystal Gunn, and that sounds like a really stupid weapon in Clue."

She only realized then that Fred's arms were still loosely around her waist. If she listened she could hear her friend's heartbeat. It was racing, like it did sometimes when they danced, or when they were squished together in a booth at the pancake house, and Fred's arms were warm, like being circled by an electric blanket.

"Harmony?"

Said all quiet like that in a soft Southern accent, her name could sound really good. She gulped. "Ya-hah?"

"I'm kinda drunk."

"Yeah."

"And I don't think they were talking about Charles."

No, she thought as their lips inched closer together. She'd promised, no more straights. Vampires only!

But Fred's lips were awfully soft.

And now that she thought about it, she hadn't said anything about not going after human girls.

Besides, she found out a little while later that Fred was a right-biter, too.

END

on 2004-01-16 03:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mpoetess.livejournal.com
Heee! And awwwwww!

on 2004-01-16 03:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] maybedarkpink.livejournal.com
Oh my, that was fantabulous! Hehehe. Fluffy Farmony femslash! Au naturell vs. au contraire is priceless, as is She was such a sympathetic person. It wasn't like it was her fault Angel didn't love Wesley back. You rock!

on 2004-01-16 03:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] romanyg.livejournal.com
Thank you, I've been swimming in OOC character angst and this just made my day.

It wasn't like it was her fault Angel didn't love Wesley back. Hee!

Loved all the references to the newest AtS episode. Damn, you're a quick draw!

Frarmony rocks! Because it's all about the hair.


on 2004-01-16 03:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] doyle_sb4.livejournal.com
:whispers: I haven't seen Harm's Way yet. But don't tell on me.

on 2004-01-17 01:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] romanyg.livejournal.com
::hurriedly stuffs cat back in bag::

Okay.

on 2004-01-16 03:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] raskazzptitsa.livejournal.com
Aww, Farm! And this line: She was such a sympathetic person. It wasn't like it was her fault Angel didn't love Wesley back. is brilliant - hee!

on 2004-01-16 03:46 pm (UTC)
minim_calibre: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] minim_calibre
I. Love. You.

Fred looked happy to see her, and that gave her warm pink fuzzies inside. Even if it was just probably all about the hair, because it really was great hair.

I love you so damn much right now, it's not even funny.

on 2004-01-16 03:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] doyle_sb4.livejournal.com
Hee! Glad to hear it!

on 2004-01-16 03:55 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] briargate.livejournal.com
I love it all; the fluffy girl-love, the potc reference, Harmony's adorable... Harmony-ness.

Lovely! ^_^

on 2004-01-16 04:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] diva-stardust.livejournal.com
Whee! This was the cutest and funniest thing ever!!! Loved it so very much.

Don't be ashamed of the fluffy. Embrace the fluff for Harmony has made it pink and sparkly.

on 2004-01-16 04:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] diva-stardust.livejournal.com
Hmmm...that should be "sparklely". Um...or maybe that's not how you spell that. I'm not sure.

This fic has made me feel like I've had too much champagne.

I must leave now.

on 2004-01-16 04:31 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] doyle_sb4.livejournal.com
lol!I think it's sparkly, but it's all good.

on 2004-01-16 05:16 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] onetwomany.livejournal.com
Bwah! That was fantabulous. You rock!

on 2004-01-16 05:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] knotted-rose.livejournal.com
That really was so absolutely fabulous. I can't believe you hadn't seen the ep yet because this was so dead-on.

on 2004-01-16 05:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] missambs.livejournal.com
OMFG how did I miss this? *steals it for Girly Bonding*

*clings*

on 2004-01-16 05:58 pm (UTC)

on 2004-01-17 12:57 am (UTC)
ext_1124: (Default)
Posted by [identity profile] rainkatt.livejournal.com
This is wonderful!

It wasn't like it was her fault Angel didn't love Wesley back. Made me giggle...

The fluff is perfect; it's Harmony, after all, and everything is pink. With unicorns.

on 2004-12-02 11:59 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Nice. Adore your Harmony and drunk!Fred.
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